Sunday, 6 April 2014

ASK A SUPER VILLAIN - Advice Column

Even Super Villains need advice.  Ask an expert, Ask a Super Villain...


As a Super Villain of some renown I know everything there is to know about being a super villain and I'm here to help you with useful advice.

This isn't an Ask Me Anything.  I'm not here to explain why super villains do things, but rather to help you with your problems being, becoming and maintaining a life as a super villain, or as a hero, civilian or henchman dealing with super villain related problems.

Advice columns come in many types, but as I know everything I can help with any aspect, such as...

Romance:  Are you a super villain in love with a super hero?  Are you afraid your partner is cheating on you with the hero?  Is the busy life of a super villain stopping you finding love?  I can help with these or any other question you may have.

Finances:  Having trouble funding your latest Doomsday Device?  Getting started and wondering if Kickstarter is the way to go?  Looking for the best way to launder the money you made holding the world to ransom?  I can help with these or any other question you may have.

Parenthood:  You've just discovered your girlfriend is pregnant, but a prophecy states you will be murdered by and replaced by your own son?  You suspect your daughter is sleeping with your nemesis, should you accept the relationship or try to warn her he's only doing it to get to you.  I can help with these or any other question you may have.

DIY:  Problems getting your doomsday weapon to work and need help fixing it?  Found an ideal secret base but need advice to get started renovating it?    I can help with these or any other question you may have.

Fashion:  Are capes in or out this year?  Where do you get 5,000 black uniforms with matching boots and helmets in a hurry?   I can help with these or any other question you may have.

Career Advice:  Too many choices?  Too few choices?  Tell me your skills and interests and I'll help you pick a super villain vocation.  Considering becoming a Henchmen?  I'll tell you what to look out for.    I can help with these or any other question you may have.

Any problems you may have, I can give you the solution.  Just ask in the comments here or on the original Wordpress blog or on tumblr, Google+ and Twitter.
~ DUG.

The above is carried out by professional Super Villains.  Do not try it at home.

23 comments:

  1. Dear Super Villain Advice

    I have spent my life wondering if there was something wrong with me, my parents are [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] better known to the world as Captain Antman and Orphan Woman and I've always thought that I would follow in their footsteps, I have always trained in martial arts and waited to gain the powers needed to fight evil but my parents have always kept me from seeing what I am preparing to fight until just yesterday when my school was attacked by the gang of slightly evil six, right at first I was planning to break out my hard won skills but instead i found myself in awe of how the main guy Chemistry Joe exploded the chem lab and i realised just what my life had been missing and the secret I had been hiding from my parents suddenly made sence, i could set fire to things with my mind and I had tested this out on ant hills all this summer even though the act made me feel dirty but now seems perfectly normal... I'm not a hero but a villain, a part of me wants to tell my parents but I can't bring myself to disappoint them. Is there any way that i can tell them that we are destined for different sides of the epic battle without breaking their hearts or should I just sneak off during the night and join my proper people? Is the fact that I've been setting fire to anthills something to do with my father or is it just that they are small and helpless and the right thing to start with.

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  2. […] letter comes from “Confused” and was posted as a comment the initial Ask a Super Villain post on this blog (I have removed the parents’ names for obvious reasons): As a Super Villain of […]

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  3. Thank you for your question. The reply can be found here: http://supervillainadvice.wordpress.com/2014/05/04/ask-a-super-villain-outing-yourself/

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  4. i've fallen in love with a super-villain. What is the best way to maintain this relationship?

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  5. […] SUPER VILLAIN ADVICE:  ASK A SUPER VILLAIN – Advice Column. […]

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  6. […] letter was again posted as a comment the initial Ask a Super Villain post on this […]

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  7. Thank you for your question. The reply can be found here:
    http://supervillainadvice.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/ask-a-super-villain-maintaining-a-relationship/

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  8. I'm planning a big event and I need to know. Where do you find good minions or henchmen? All I find are ones that can't hit a target or like to stand around and fight a hero one at a time.

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  9. […] Michael @ Literary E… on ASK A SUPER VILLAIN – Ad… […]

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  10. Thanks for your question. The reply can be found here: http://supervillainadvice.wordpress.com/2014/08/24/ask-a-super-villain-hiring-henchmen/

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  11. Hi, I like this guy and we have been texting everyday for the last six months. Then this has slowly started to decline to thrice a week (but all convos might last days). Few weeks back, he told me that he was in a relationship before and I can see that he can't get over her yet. It has been a year since they broke up. He told me that he still keeps in touch with her at times. His ex is in another country by the way.
    I really like him and I have never felt this way with any guy before. I feel really happy with him and he treats me respectfully. I click with him so easily and feel comfortable in his company. He just makes me smile. But ya, the fact remains that he is not over his ex. What do I do? I tried to think of him as just a friend but I can't seem to. Should I forget him and how do I forget him? Else how do I make him like me if that's possible? Please please help me

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  12. As a budding supervillian (already trained in martial arts and currently pursuing an evil career, insurance...) I need to modify my car to outrun any james bonds or Jason bourne's. Can you recommend any evil mechanics who could equip my vehicle with the latest weaponry and countermeasures?

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  13. Thanks for your question. The reply can be found here:
    https://supervillainadvice.wordpress.com/2015/01/31/ask-a-super-villain-txt-relationship/

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  14. Thanks for your question. The reply can be found here:
    https://supervillainadvice.wordpress.com/2015/02/08/ask-a-super-villain-evil-mechanic/

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  15. […] Have a question of your own?  Ask A Super Villain. […]

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  16. […] Have a question of your own?  Ask A Super Villain. […]

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  17. […] Want advice on being a Super Villain?  Ask A Super Villain. […]

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  18. […] Want advice on being a Super Villain?  Ask A Super Villain. […]

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  19. […] Want advice on being a Super Villain?  Ask A Super Villain. […]

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